V-day

Alas, it is Valentine's Day yet again. I think this is the first year that I haven't been working somewhere or in class somewhere surrounded by other people getting gifts and all that crap. I have to say, its really nice. I think this is the best V-day I've ever had, and thats saying a lot. I would say its normally my worst day of the year, although that might be my birthday. (I tend to be really depressed on my birthday for some reason) I'm not a fan of V-day, although I'm sure if I had someone else to share it with, I would love it (as long as it was special). Which is the point I guess. I don't really like days where things are expected to be better than most days, because I'm normally let down by them.

So, food...this week has not started off well. I haven't eaten bad or anything...its just the way I'm feeling. I need to re-motivate myself. Thats not an easy thing to do. I am not easily motivated. Sometimes I just get in that zone, where I can think of all the stuff that motivated me just last week, and I just think....I don't care. I was in a really bad mood Tuesday. I had class that night, that I hate going to. I had some work for it that I really should have done...but I was sitting there and just thought, I don't care, I really don't. I even tried to say to myself, what if you mess something up and you fail the class - nope, didn't motivate me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to fail the class, I want an A. But, it didn't seem to help motivate me. I ended up going to class, and I felt better after class - I guess it wasn't as bad as I had built it up in my head. But, there's still this lingering mood I can't seem to sway. Ugh.

Well, happy v-day....(she says with a smug smile)